Before going any further, I invite you to have an intellectual and emotional experience. Take a few seconds and just look at the picture on the following page Now look at the picture below and carefully describe what you see Do you see a woman? How old would you say she is? What does she look like? What is she wearing? In what kind of roles do you see her?
You probably would describe the woman in the second picture to be about 25 years old -- very lovely, rather fashionable with a petite nose and demure presence. If you were a single man you might like to take her out. If you were in retailing, you might hire her as a fashion model. But what if I were to tell you that you're wrong? What if I said this picture is of a woman in her 60s or 70s who looks sad, has a huge nose, and certainly is no model.
She's someone you probably would help cross the street. Who's right? Look at the picture again. Can you see the old woman? If you can't, keep trying. Can you see her big hook nose? Her shawl? If you and I were talking face to face, we could discuss the picture. You could describe what you see to me, and I could talk to you about what I see.
We could continue to communicate until you clearly showed me what you see in the picture and I clearly showed you what I see. Because we can't do that, turn to page 45 and study the picture there and then look at this picture again.
Can you see the old woman now? It's important that you see her before you continue reading. I first encountered this exercise many years ago at the Harvard Business School.
The instructor was using it to demonstrate clearly and eloquently that two people can see the same thing, disagree, and yet both be right. It's not logical; it's psychological. He brought into the room a stack of large cards, half of which had the image of the young woman you saw on page 25, and the other half of which had the old woman on page He passed them out to the class, the picture of the young woman to one side of the room and the picture of the old woman to the other.
He asked us to look at the cards, concentrate on them for about 10 seconds and then pass them back in. He then projected upon the screen the picture you saw on page 26 combining both images and asked the class to describe what they saw. Almost every person in that class who had first seen the young woman's image on a card saw the young woman in the picture.
And almost every person in that class who had first seen the old woman's image on a card saw an old woman in the picture. As they talked back and forth, communication problems flared up. She couldn't be more than 20 or 22 years old! You have to be joking. She's 70 -- could be pushing 80!
Are you blind? This lady is young, good looking. I'd like to take her out. She's lovely. She's an old hag. The arguments went back and forth, each person sure of, and adamant in, his or her position.
All of this occurred in spite of one exceedingly important advantage the students had -- most of them knew early in the demonstration that another point of view did, in fact, exist -- something many of us would never admit.
Nevertheless, at first, only a few students really tried to see this picture from another frame of reference. After a period of futile communication, one student went up to the screen and pointed to a line on the drawing. Through continued calm, respectful, and specific communication, each of us in the room was finally able to see the other point of view.
But when we looked away and then back, most of us would immediately see the image we had been conditioned to see in the second period of time. I frequently use this perception demonstration in working with people and organizations because it yields so many deep insights into both personal and interpersonal effectiveness. It shows, first of all, how powerfully conditioning affects our perceptions, our paradigms. If 10 seconds can have that kind of impact on the way we see things, what about the conditioning of a lifetime?
The influences in our lives -- family, school, church, work environment, friends, associates, and current social paradigms such as the personality ethic -- all have made their silent unconscious impact on us and help shape our frame of reference, our paradigms, our maps.
It also shows that these paradigms are the source of our attitudes and behaviors. We cannot act with integrity outside of them. We simply cannot maintain wholeness if we talk and walk differently than we see. If you were among the 90 percent who typically see the young woman in the composite picture when conditioned to do so, you undoubtedly found it difficult to think in terms of having to help her cross the street.
Both your attitude about her and your behavior toward her had to be congruent with the way you saw her. This brings into focus one of the basic flaws of the personality ethic. To try to change outward attitudes and behaviors does very little good in the long run if we fail to examine the basic paradigms from which those attitudes and behaviors flow. This perception demonstration also shows how powerfully our paradigms affect the way we interact with other people.
As clearly and objectively as we think we see things, we begin to realize that others see them differently from their own apparently equally clear and objective point of view. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are -- or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms.
When other people disagree with us, we immediately think something is wrong with them. But, as the demonstration shows, sincere, clearheaded people see things differently, each looking through the unique lens of experience. This does not mean that there are no facts. In the demonstration, two individuals who initially have been influenced by different conditioning pictures look at the third picture together.
But each person's interpretation of these facts represents prior experiences, and the facts have no meaning whatsoever apart from the interpretation. The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view.
The Power of a Paradigm Shift Perhaps the most important insight to be gained from the perception demonstration is in the area of paradigm shifting, what we might call the "Aha! The more bound a person is by the initial perception, the more powerful the "Aha! It's as though a light were suddenly turned on inside. Kuhn shows how almost every significant breakthrough in the field of scientific endeavor is first a break with tradition, with old ways of thinking, with old paradigms.
For Ptolemy, the great Egyptian astronomer, the earth was the center of the universe. But Copernicus created a Paradigm Shift, and a great deal of resistance and persecution as well, by placing the sun at the center. Suddenly, everything took on a different interpretation. The Newtonian model of physics was a clockwork paradigm and is still the basis of modern engineering. But it was partial, incomplete.
The scientific world was revolutionized by the Einsteinian paradigm, the relativity paradigm, which had much higher predictive and explanatory value. Until the germ theory was developed, a high percentage of women and children died during childbirth, and one could understand why.
In military skirmishes, more men were dying from small wounds and diseases than from the major traumas on the front lines. But as soon as the germ theory was developed, a whole new paradigm, a better, improved way of understanding what was happening made dramatic, significant medical improvement possible.
The United States today is the fruit of a Paradigm Shift. The traditional concept of government for centuries had been a monarchy, the divine right of kings. Then a different paradigm was developed -- government of the people, by the people, and for the people. And a constitutional democracy was born, unleashing tremendous human energy and ingenuity, and creating a standard of living, of freedom and liberty, of influence and hope unequaled in the history of the world. Not all Paradigm Shifts are in positive directions.
As we have observed, the shift from the character ethic to the personality ethic has drawn us away from the very roots that nourish true success and happiness. But whether they shift us in positive or negative directions, whether they are instantaneous or developmental, Paradigm Shifts move us from one way of seeing the world to another.
And those shifts create powerful change. Our paradigms, correct or incorrect, are the sources of our attitudes and behaviors, and ultimately our relationships with others.
People were sitting quietly -- some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed. The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation.
The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people's papers. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing. It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too.
So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, "Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn't control them a little more? I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don't know what to think, and I guess they don't know how to handle it either. My paradigm shifted.
Suddenly I saw things differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn't have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man's pain.
Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely. Oh, I'm so sorry. Can you tell me about it? What can I do to help? Many people experience a similar fundamental shift in thinking when they face a life-threatening crisis and suddenly see their priorities in a different light, or when they suddenly step into a new role, such as that of husband or wife, parent or grandparent, manager or leader.
We could spend weeks, months, even years laboring with the personality ethic trying to change our attitudes and behaviors and not even begin to approach the phenomenon of change that occurs spontaneously when we see things differently.
It becomes obvious that if we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms. In the words of Thoreau, "For every thousand hacking at the leaves of evil, there is one striking at the root.
Seeing and Being Of course, not all Paradigm Shifts are instantaneous. Unlike my instant insight on the subway, the paradigm-shifting experience Sandra and I had with our son was a slow, difficult, and deliberate process.
The approach we had first taken with him was the outgrowth of years of conditioning and experience in the personality ethic. It was the result of deeper paradigms we held about our own success as parents as well as the measure of success of our children.
And it was not until we changed those basic paradigms, quantum change in ourselves and in the situation. In order to see our son differently, Sandra and I had to be differently. Our new paradigm was created as we invested in the growth and development of our own character. Our Paradigms are the way we "see" the world or circumstances -- not in terms of our visual sense of sight, but in terms of perceiving, understanding, and interpreting.
Paradigms are inseparable from character. Being is seeing in the human dimension. And what we see is highly interrelated to what we are. We can't go very far to change our seeing without simultaneously changing our being, and vice versa.
Even in my apparently instantaneous paradigm-shifting experience that morning on the subway, my change of vision was a result of -- and limited by -- my basic character. On the other hand, I am equally certain there are people who would have been far more sensitive in the first place, who may have recognized that a deeper problem existed and reached out to understand and help before I did. Paradigms are powerful because they create the lens through which we see the world.
The power of a Paradigm Shift is the essential power of quantum change, whether that shift is an instantaneous or a slow and deliberate process. The Principle-Centered Paradigm The character ethic is based on the fundamental idea that there are principles that govern human effectiveness -- natural laws in the human dimension that are just as real, just as unchanging and unarguably "there" as laws such as gravity are in the physical dimension.
An idea of the reality -- and the impact -- of these principles can be captured in another paradigm-shifting experience as told by Frank Kock in Proceedings, the magazine of the Naval Institute. Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.
Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow. Lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship. The captain then called to the signal man, "Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.
He spat out, "Send, I'm a battleship. Change course 20 degrees. Paradigm Shift experienced by the captain -- and by us as we read this account -- puts the situation in a totally different light.
We can see a reality that is superseded by his limited perceptions -- a reality that is as critical for us to understand in our daily lives as it was for the captain in the fog. Principles are like lighthouses.
They are natural laws that cannot be broken. As Cecil B. We can only break ourselves against the law. They are a "subjective reality," only an attempt to describe the territory.
The "objective reality," or the territory itself, is composed of "lighthouse" principles that govern human growth and happiness -- natural laws that are woven into the fabric of every civilized society throughout history and comprise the roots of every family and institution that has endured and prospered.
The reality of such principles or natural laws becomes obvious to anyone who thinks deeply and examines the cycles of social history. These principles surface time and time again, and the degree to which people in society recognize and live in harmony with them moves them toward either survival and stability or disintegration and destruction. The principles I am referring to are not esoteric, mysterious, or "religious" ideas.
There is not one principle taught in this book that is unique to any specific faith or religion, including my own. These principles are a part of every major enduring religion, as well as enduring social philosophies and ethical systems. They are self-evident and can easily be validated by any individual. It's almost as if these principles or natural laws are part of the human condition, part of the human consciousness, part of the human conscience.
They seem to exist in all human beings, regardless of social conditioning and loyalty to them, even though they might be submerged or numbed by conditions or disloyalty. I am referring, for example, to the principle of fairness, out of which our whole concept of equity and justice is developed.
Little children seem to have an innate sense of the idea of fairness even apart from opposite conditioning experiences. There are vast differences in how fairness is defined and achieved, but there is almost universal awareness of the idea. Other examples would include integrity and honesty. They create the foundation of trust which is essential to cooperation and long-term personal and interpersonal growth.
Another principle is human dignity. The basic concept in the United States Declaration of Independence bespeaks this value or principle. Another is quality or excellence. There is the principle of potential, the idea that we are embryonic and can grow and develop and release more and more potential, develop more and more talents. Highly related to potential is the principle of growth -- the process of releasing potential and developing talents, with the accompanying need for principles such as patience, nurturance, and encouragement.
Principles are not practices. A practice is a specific activity or action. A practice that works in one circumstance will not necessarily work in another, as parents who have tried to raise a second child exactly like they did the first one can readily attest. While practices are situationally specific, principles are deep, fundamental truths that have universal application.
They apply to individuals, to marriages, to families, to private and public organizations of every kind. When these truths are internalized into habits, they empower people to create a wide variety of practices to deal with different situations.
Principles are not values. A gang of thieves can share values, but they are in violation of the fundamental principles we're talking about. Principles are the territory. Values are maps. When we value correct principles, we have truth -- a knowledge of things as they are. Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value. They're fundamental. They're essentially unarguable because they are self-evident.
One way to quickly grasp the self-evident nature of principles is to simply consider the absurdity of attempting to live an effective life based on their opposites. I doubt that anyone would seriously consider unfairness, deceit, baseness, uselessness, mediocrity, or degeneration to be a solid foundation for lasting happiness and success.
Although people may argue about how these principles are defined or manifested or achieved, there seems to be an innate consciousness and awareness that they exist. Correct maps will infinitely impact our personal and interpersonal effectiveness far more than any amount of effort expended on changing our attitudes and behaviors. Principles of Growth and Change The glitter of the personality ethic, the massive appeal, is that there is some quick and easy way to achieve quality of life -- personal effectiveness and rich, deep relationships with other people -- without going through the natural process of work and growth that makes it possible It's symbol without substance.
It's the "get rich quick" scheme promising "wealth without work. The personality ethic is illusory and deceptive. And trying to get high-quality results with its techniques and quick fixes is just about as effective as trying to get to some place in Chicago using a map of Detroit.
In the words of Erich Fromm, an astute observer of the roots and fruits of the personality ethic. Today we come across an individual who behaves like an automaton, who does not know or understand himself, and the only person that he knows is the person that he is supposed to be, whose meaningless chatter has replaced communicative speech, whose synthetic smile has replaced genuine laughter, and whose sense of dull despair has taken the place of genuine pain.
Two statements may be said concerning this individual. One is that he suffers from defects of spontaneity and individuality which may seem to be incurable. At the same time it may be said of him he does not differ essentially from the millions of the rest of us who walk upon this earth. In all of life, there are sequential stages of growth and development. A child learns to turn over, to sit up, to crawl, and then to walk and run.
Each step is important and each one takes time. No step can be skipped. This is true in all phases of life, in all areas of development, whether it be learning to play the piano or communicate effectively with a working associate. It is true with individuals, with marriages, with families, and with organizations. We know and accept this fact or principle of process in the area of physical things, but to understand it in emotional areas, in human relations, and even in the area of personal character is less common and more difficult.
And even if we understand it, to accept it and to live in harmony with it are even less common and more difficult. Consequently, we sometimes look for a shortcut, expecting to be able to skip some of these vital steps in order to save time and effort and still reap the desired result.
But what happens when we attempt to shortcut a natural process in our growth and development? If you are only an average tennis player but decide to play at a higher level in order to make a better impression, what will result? Would positive thinking alone enable you to compete effectively against a professional? What if you were to lead your friends to believe you could play the piano at concert hall level while your actual present skill was that of a beginner?
The answers are obvious. It is simply impossible to violate, ignore, or shortcut this development process. It is contrary to nature, and attempting to seek such a shortcut only results in disappointment and frustration.
On a point scale, if I am at level two in any field, and desire to move to level five, I must first take the step toward level three. You cannot pretend for long, for you will eventually be found out. Admission of ignorance is often the first step in our education. Thoreau taught, "How can we remember our ignorance, which our growth requires, when we are using our knowledge all of the time?
They were afraid to open up with their parents for fear of the consequences. And yet they desperately needed their parents' love, understanding, and guidance. I talked with the father and found that he was intellectually aware of what was happening.
But while he admitted he had a temper problem, he refused to take responsibility for it and to honestly accept the fact that his emotional development level was low. It was more than his pride could swallow to take the first step toward change. To relate effectively with a wife, a husband, children, friends, or working associates, we must learn to listen.
And this requires emotional strength. Listening involves patience, openness, and the desire to understand -- highly developed qualities of character. It's so much easier to operate from a low emotional level and to give high-level advice.
Our level of development is fairly obvious with tennis or piano playing, where it is impossible to pretend. But it is not so obvious in the areas of character and emotional development. We can "pose" and "put on" for a stranger or an associate. We can pretend. And for a while we can get by with it -- at least in public. We might even deceive ourselves. Yet I believe that most of us know the truth of what we really are inside; and I think many of those we live with and work with do as well.
I have seen the consequences of attempting to shortcut this natural process of growth often in the business world, where executives attempt to "buy" a new culture of improved productivity, quality, morale, and customer service with the strong speeches, smile training, and external interventions, or through mergers, acquisitions, and friendly or unfriendly takeovers. But they ignore the low-trust climate produced by such manipulations. When these methods don't work, they look for other personality ethic techniques that will -- all the time ignoring and violating the natural principles and processes on which high-trust culture is based.
I remember violating this principle myself as a father many years ago. One day I returned home to my little girl's third-year birthday party to find her in the corner of the front room, defiantly clutching all of her presents, unwilling to let the other children play with them. The first thing I noticed was several parents in the room witnessing this selfish display. I was embarrassed, and doubly so because at the time I was teaching university classes in human relations.
And I knew, or at least felt, the expectation of these parents. The atmosphere in the room was really charged -- the children were crowding around my little daughter with their hands out, asking to play with the presents they had just given, and my daughter was adamantly refusing. I said to myself, "Certainly I should teach my daughter to share. The value of sharing is one of the most basic things we believe in. My second method was to use a little reasoning.
The third method was bribery. Very softly I said, "Honey, if you share, I've got special surprise for you. Now I was becoming exasperated. Here is briefly describe 5 pillars of Islam. See more. The 7 habits of Highly Effective People Summary. Chicken Soup for the Soul Book Summary. Atish Books App. Successful Thinking Strategies. As prejudiced as this may sound, this is a remarkable book, a must-read!
In more than 25 years of working with people in business, university, and marriage and family settings, I have come in contact with many individuals who have achieved an incredible degree of outward success, but have found themselves struggling with an inner hunger, a deep need for personal congruency and effectiveness and for healthy, growing relationships with other people. I suspect some of the problems they have shared with me may be familiar to you.
I read all the new information, I set goals, I get myself all psyched up with a positive mental attitude and tell myself I can do it. After a few weeks, I fizzle. Report Close Quick Download Go to remote file. Documents can only be sent to your Kindle devices from e-mail accounts that you added to your Approved Personal Document E-mail List. What's the problem with this file?Faster previews. Personalized experience. Get started with a FREE account. Load more similar PDF files. PDF Drive investigated dozens of problems and listed the biggest global issues facing the world today. Let's Change The World Together. Pdfdrive:hope Give books away. Get books you want. Ask yourself: How would you like others to perceive you? Not 7 habits of highly effective people free download pdf yet? Try Again. Report Close Quick Download Go to remote file. Documents can only be sent to your Kindle devices from e-mail accounts that you added to your Approved 7 habits of highly effective people free download pdf Document E-mail List. What's the problem with this file? Promotional spam Copyrighted material Offensive language or threatening Something else. Dun's Business Month THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart Stephen Covey's inspirational book will undoubtedly. Each summary is about 8 pages long and contains the stripped-down essential ideas from the entire book in a time-saving format. By investing less than one hour. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first published in , is a business and self-help book written by Stephen Covey. Covey presents an approach to. A summary of the bestselling book by Stephen R. Covey. From The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. Published by Simon. Seven Habits Revisited: Seven Unique Human Endowments One way to revisit The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is to identify the unique human In the book Man's Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychiatrist. The 7 habits of highly effective people or the ultimate teenage success guide, is a book writen by Stephen devsmash.online effectiveness. The following is a summary of the first part of his book, concluding with a list of the seven habits. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey's. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Next. Amazon Business: For business-only pricing, quantity discounts and FREE Shipping. [PDF] *Download* Effortless Savings: A Money Management Guide To Saving [PDF] *Read* The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change book PDF: This book is. 7 habits of highly effective people, the: 25th anniversary edition pdf. This is how the 4th generation makes decisions and lives their daily lives. Loved each and every part of this book. To be effective you need to act based on principles and constantly review your mission statement. By delegating things to other people, you are being more effective. The idea of renewal by education will propel one along the path of personal freedom, security, wisdom, and power source: wikipedia. In order to make something a habit in our lives, we have to have all three. Your personal mission statement will also take into account your values and principles. People also fear that a task may not be completed in exactly the way they desired. Grow and stay humble. Paradigms and our behaviours cannot be mutually exclusive. Without independent will, you lack the ability to make a choice or decision, and actually follow through. The lessons in this book should be considered essential reading for anyone looking to pursue a more productive lifestyle.